90% of people spend more time preparing for wedding and its jamboree and not marriage. Well, that’s another topic for another day.
So let’s talk about Nigeria and its marriage system.
In Nigeria today, we have what we call our wedding (now termed as traditional wedding) and white wedding. So I ask myself, what’s the need for white wedding when we still celebrate our wedding (traditional wedding) and what’s the need for our wedding (traditional wedding) when we still celebrate white wedding?
You see, every country in the world has a tradition, be it practice or not, they have a way in which things are done. Traditional marriage is also known as cultural marriage, that is getting married in a way in which the people in that certain place act.
Having my own opinion, let’s take a trip back to the ancient Israel in the bible
Marriage in the ancient Israel was strict, if a woman must get married she has to be a virgin and if found not to be, there is a high tendency she can be put to death. In those days girls were married at puberty stage, which means their men were way older than them and also those same days, marriage between cousins were preferred.
So you see, every country in the world has its own practice in almost everything, bringing in a white wedding to a cultural wedding is like adopting a child to your own child, which doesn’t make you the biological parent of that child.
Truth is the issue of traditional marriage and white marriage is a kind of chaotic thought I want to believe they’re so many people out there wanting answers to.
I have spoken to few people and they seem not to understand the need to celebrate two marriages.
In some part of our country today, once you’ve done the traditional wedding, they send the bride straight to the husband’s house while some household sees that as not right until the white wedding have been done.
So I wonder “How did we start having a disbelief on who we are and have always being and see some foreign tradition, lifestyle and way of doing things as the right way?
I have so many words to say and so many questions to ask and I know so many of you out there feel the same.
Share your thought below and what you think.
From our discussions below, I want to believe so many of us would be able to draw a conclusion as regards our marriage system and sensitizing the Nigeria mindset.
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Written By: Mary iLo
Edited By: Michael Osemwengie
3 comments
As far as am concern traditional marriage is our culture. I don’t understand why some people think doing both is the correct way. After they pay dowry, madam carry ur bags and go to ur husbands wife. Legally he’s married
Well tradition is tradition and one cannot discredit that however the issue of white wedding is solely on the premise of our religious belief. For Christians white wedding is a fulfillment of the standards set by the holy book (BIBLE). I believe both is quite important and doing white wedding does not necessarily mean copying another person’s tradition but a more civilized way of combining tradition with religion.
The holy book doesn’t state that doing a white marriage fulfills it’s standard. It’s obviously a make believe idea by Nigerians spiritual leaders.
In fact the marriage between Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachael was a clear example. In fact, the case study of Jacob and Rachael marriage explains that “marriage is obtaining a woman parental permission b4 taking their daughter”. it’s exactly what happens during the traditional marriage – materials and monetary values are paid.
More-so I do not believe white wedding is being civilized, I believe it’s an intentional or deliberate way of duplicating a process.